Penis requests a raise

I, the Penis, hereby request a raise in salary for the following
Reasons:
* I do physical labor.
* I work @ great depths.
* I plunge headfirst in2 everything I do.
* I don’t get weekends or holidays off.
* I work in a damp environment.
* I work in a dark workplace that has poor ventilation.
* I work in high temperatures.
* My work exposes me to contagious diseases.
Sincerely, The Penis
—–
Dear Penis,
After assessing your request & considering the arguments you have
Raised,
The administration rejects your request for the following reasons:
* You don’t work 8 hours straight.
* You fall asleep after brief work periods.
* You don’t always follow the orders of the management team.
* You don’t stay in your designated area and are often seen visiting other locations.
* You don’t take initiative.
* You need to be pressured and stimulated in order to start working.
* You leave the workplace rather messy at the end of ur shift