True Friendship

True Friendship
Here is a series of promises that actually speak of true friendship.
You will see no cutesy little smiley faces on this card-
Just the stone cold truth of our great friendship.

1. When you are sad — I will help you get drunk and plot revenge against th e sorry bastard who made you sad.
2. When you are blue — I will try to dislodge whatever is choking you.
3 When you smile — I will know you finally got laid.
4. When you are scared — I will rag on you about it every chance I get.
5. When you are worried — I will tell you horrible stories about how much Worse it could be until you quit whining.
6. When you are confused — I will use little words.
7. When you are sick — Stay the hell away from me until you are well again. I don’t want whatever you have
8. When you fall — I will point and laugh at your clumsy ass.
9. This is my oath…. I pledge it to the end. “Why?” you may ask;
“because you are my friend”.